I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
