She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
