We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
