I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
