I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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