Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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