1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
