a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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