i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
