just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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