She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
