Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need water and some morals
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
