I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I intend to get homeless drunk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
