Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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