His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
