what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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