Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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