susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
