I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
