This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wear drunk well.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
