I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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