He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
