My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
