There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
