I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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