WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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