I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
