Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
