I just pynch a tree in the face
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
