I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
