If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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