Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
