Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
