The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
