maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
