My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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