a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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