IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
