Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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