I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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