Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
