I want to walk on stilts...naked
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
