so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
