Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
