I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
