Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
