I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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