okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
