You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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