dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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