Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
