Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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